so explain again why im purple
no
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
