The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
