Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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