Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
