I need help removing her.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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