you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
