im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
