It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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