4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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