Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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