I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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