I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
