nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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