So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
