DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And then my night got REAL pukey
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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