I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
