i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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