YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
