he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
