I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
nutella sex= disaster
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
