we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
