is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
