I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
