Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
