the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Randomize
