with your own penis?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
