Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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