i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Is it because I queefed?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
