I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
