No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
