I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
