Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
