Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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