The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just want nice things and good sex
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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