I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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