I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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