I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You have to summon your inner elephant
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
