Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
