It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
