return my video game
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
