this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Randomize
