just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Plan B is the new Plan A
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
