Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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