Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
