So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
