We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
