I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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