i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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