I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
