I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
