youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
