I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
