super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
